A quick note to Montreal women

We've been seeing a disturbing trend recently in the growing number of women wearing big, poorly-designed Audrey Hepburn-style sunglasses. We're not sure how this started or who is responsible for it, but until we solve this mystery we advise all Montreal females to avoid purchasing, wearing or owning any such form of sunglasses. They are not flattering on you. They do not make you look classier or more sophisticated. Instead, they make you look like you failed the "A-B" test at the optometrist and were prescribed severe, Hubble-telescope-like corrective eyewear to treat your acute astigmatism.

These suited Audrey Hepburn because they made her look like, well, Audrey Hepburn. In a classic, tragic example of a modern fashion Pandora's Box, however, they will make you look absolutely ridiculous and unhealthy - unless your last name is Hepburn, in which case you should contact me.

This has been a public service announcement.